Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why do I want to suck cock, after smoking methamphetamine?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why are Democrats deflecting and aren’t as tough on Hunter Biden with all of his criminal activity and his rising possibility of him receiving a charge for illegally owing a gun?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I actually pay taxes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Why do some women alter their faces by so-called cosmetic surgeries (on their eyes, cheeks, lips, chin, jaw) that making them look like Donald Duck or puffy aliens, while for most men these unnatural facial changes are ridiculous or even disgusting?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What are some sex stories from your college days?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What do you do you do if your motorcycle chain snaps while riding on the highway?

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I understand how hurricane paths work

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What's a band that is really popular that you don't like? Why?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Is it wrong of me to feel uncomfortable that my friend thinks my brother is hot?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What would you change in the "Game of Thrones" storyline if you were one of the writers of the TV series?

I can read

I see through liars

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Does the Lil Wayne song ‘Lollipop’ refers to a Lollipop sweet or a metaphor?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What are the pros and cons of arranged marriages?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What are some funny and smart quotes?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What does K mean in Vietnamese?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.